Updated: Nov 13
I have been reading very slowly through the Gospel of John for some time, pausing whenever a verse or phrase posed a question for me.
I then talked with God about what I read or asked Jesus what he meant when he said or did what is recorded. My desire in doing this was to get to know Jesus better. Many times, this led to my wondering about something I had never noticed before—what it meant then and what it means for me now.
Although this is very intimate writing, I began sharing my wonderings occasionally with some friends, with the hope that it would trigger their wondering. This led to my birthing the idea of “Wonder with Wendy on Wednesday.” My husband has always talked about the WOW factor—Wendy on Wonder!
Dom asked me to share these wonderings now on our Fermata Blog. The words I share are not some carefully edited versions of my interaction with God; they are my authentic response to what I am reading. As I share, I hope my wonderings may open some wonderings for you and a different way of interacting with your loving Father God. I would love to hear about your wonderings.
Also, we are jumping in toward the end of John, and reading of Jesus’ death always grieves me, so I may move more quickly through these chapters. But, then again, who knows?
And a last PS, I tend to read the Message translation, if you begin to wonder where I get the wording of my quotes from!]
November 1: early morning:
It has taken me awhile to leave the beauty of Your prayer recorded in John 17, Jesus; with some trepidation, I open John 18. To my surprise, I read:
“Jesus, having prayed this prayer, left with His disciples…”
I sit in awe. I get a sense that the prayer you prayed was an “it is finished”; that all had been said…that you are now ready to move on into this last challenge. John omits the record of Your agonizing over the Father’s will, that the other three gospels record in detail. I wonder why?
And here You are with Your disciples, to whom You have already said “Do you finally believe? In fact, you’re about to make a run for it—saving your own skins and abandoning me. But I’m not abandoned. The Father is with me.” (John 16:31, 32)
I wonder if Your being able to move so calmly through all that followed was birthed in that knowledge of the Father’s presence throughout. That the Oneness You were celebrating through Your prayer—You with the Father—enabled You to know You were not abandoned.
And I wonder what that says to me in those moments when I feel most alone—that I am never actually alone…that I was included in Your prayer.
WOW! Amazing God. Thank You.