God's Unfailing Love

Several years ago, I spent a day on a prayer retreat at a home in the West Hills of Portland. The owners had created a labyrinth on their property, using small evergreen bushes to provide the walls of the pathway. Walking labyrinths has always been a delight to me—the invitation to walk slowly with God—there is a destination at the center, but the path winds back and forth—and reaching the center becomes less important than the chance to be present to God and listen to him.

This labyrinth was not very big but was surrounded by the beauty of the trees and the far-off hills. I started out with eager anticipation of hearing from God and knowing his loving presence. However, I hadn’t walked very far when a picture flashed into my mind of my daughter with whom I was estranged at that time. My first reaction was anger that she would intrude into my beautiful space with God. Then I realized that it was God who had brought her to my mind. My tears started to fall. I couldn't walk any further. I stumbled my way out of the labyrinth, stepping over the small bushes. Thankfully I found a seat alongside. I sat down, angry with God, frustrated, disappointed, hurt, upset…not wanting to look at what He was saying to me.

And then God spoke clearly to me through my angst:

“It’s My kindness that leads you to repentance.” (See Romans 2:4)

Wait! This is Your kindness, Lord? God in his gentle, loving way was inviting me to look again at my daughter, to let go of the past hurts and disappointments and allow his love to flow through me again to her. I saw my daughter with all her struggles, and I knew she needed my kindness. I sat quietly, wrestling with myself, wanting to rehearse all the distress she had brought into my life, all the disappointments, all the rejection… Repentance? Forgive? Turn and look again with love? Allow her to hurt me again?

And yet, I became so aware of God’s love, so aware of his faithfulness, so aware of the tenderness by which he was inviting me into a different way of seeing her. This was the God who had forgiven me repeatedly—who still reached out in his love, who wasn't going to leave me with this judgement against my daughter for both her sake and for mine.  Gratitude began to rise within me. I took some deep breaths. With his help, I knew I could move forward again towards my beloved daughter, and trust that God would hold me as I did so. I stepped back to the labyrinth and continued my journey to the center; when I came there, I lifted my hands, asked His forgiveness and committed myself back to him. I wound my way back through the labyrinth. Later that day I had an opportunity to write in my journal about this encounter and what it would mean for me with my daughter.

Kindness. Loving kindness. Hesed is the Hebrew word; the depth of its meaning is not easily translated into English.  This is our God.

Your love, oh Lord, reaches to the heavens,

  your faithfulness to the skies. Psalm 36:5

How faithfully God had spoken to me that day in a way he knew I could receive it. He didn't leave me in my feelings of hurt toward my daughter. He invited me into healing.

How priceless is your unfailing love!

Both high and low among men

  find refuge in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 36:7

The shadow of God’s wings! What an incredible picture of the way God takes care of us. I can find refuge there. So can my daughter.

              They feast on the abundance of your house;

              You give them drink from your river of delights.

              For in you is the fountain of life;

In your light we see light. Psalm 34:8, 9

Hesed—this love that shines light into our darkness, not to judge or condemn us, but to set us free from the things that hold us back from receiving all God has for us. I wonder if we have a picture of “becoming who God has created us to be” as an endpoint that we can arrive at. The older I get, the further away that endpoint appears, but the more I am aware of God’s loving gaze, His invitation to walk with him and know the Spirit’s counsel and comfort as I need it. Jesus taught us to ask for our “daily bread”. Yes, God is outside of time. Yes, He sees us in the fullness of our true self—who he created us to be in his image. And he sees also the shadow side—the places we often don’t see about ourselves or want to acknowledge, and He constantly invites us to ask for provision for the day—physical, emotional, spiritual—the realization that on our own we truly can do nothing, but in him we can do whatever he is asking or us for today.

A gift I was given sometime ago was to learn to laugh gently at myself—to say ruefully “Oh, Wendy!” as I do something I thought I had stopped doing. Not in condemnation, but in humor and humility. Yes, I am not who I would like to be. And yes I am on a journey with him that is filled with delight and possibility.

For several months last year, I was worried about many things going on with my family members and friends: serious illnesses that seemed to have no answers, work situations that continued to challenge. I felt weighed down with all the troubles. I was tired all the time. I dreaded asking some of my loved ones, “How are you?” because I didn’t want to hear the answer. It was a dark period for me. I found great solace in reading the book of Psalms. David has such an amazing way of describing the pain of suffering alongside the endless love of God. From the depths, he cries, and God answers! He talks a lot about his enemies. I find my enemies are mainly in my mind—my anxious thoughts that I allow to dominate my life. As I moved with David day by day through a psalm from distress to joy, I found hope returning. And then came my openness to hear God’s voice:

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,

for I am gentle and humble in heart,

and you will find rest for your souls.

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28

“I never asked you to carry these burdens,” my beloved Father reassured me. “I am more than able to take care of your loved ones. Trust me with each of them.”

God’s loving kindness and faithfulness were with me. I could choose to trust him with each situation. As time has passed, some things have not changed much and yet I have seen God’s love drawing my loved ones to himself and keeping them safe.

Is it time for you to consider if a journey inward is exactly what you need to find your way forward? Do you feel lost in your thoughts or overwhelmed by life’s challenges? You’re not alone. One of the ways that has helped me is walking a labyrinth; it offers a unique path to acceptance and peace.

Have you ever considered walking a labyrinth? Do you wonder what that is. A labyrinth in some ways is like a maze, but unlike a maze, a labyrinth has a single, winding path that leads to the center and back out again. There are no wrong turns or dead ends. But the path often turns back on itself, and the moment you get near the center, it leads you to the outside path again!  A bit like life is sometimes!

Walking a labyrinth isn’t about solving a puzzle or finding the fastest way out. Instead, it’s a powerful spiritual and mindfulness practice that invites reflection, presence, and inner stillness. With each step, the journey becomes less about reaching the center and more about discovering insight along the way. As you wind your way slowly through the gentle curves of the pathway, your mind is quietened; the rhythmic movement of one foot after the other can deepen your sense of tranquility and peace. God is with you. You can relax into His presence.

There are several places in Oregon where you can find a labyrinth. My favorite is the one in the upper level of The Grotto. There in a sheltered corner of the beautiful, peace-filled garden, you can find the quietness to still your heart and mind. I also walk one in Gresham that offers a place of tranquility despite the traffic on Powell and the noise of the children at the day care next to it! It is found at St. Luke the Physician Episcopal Church.

Other options that I have not explored but now want to include the following:

Mt Tabor Presbyterian Church—Tabor-Space Labyrinth

5441 SE Belmont St. Portland, Oregon 97215

St. Francis Park Labyrinth

SE Oak St. between SE 11th and SE 12th Portland, Oregon 97214

Wesley United Methodist Church - Poppen Community Garden Labyrinth

1385 Oakway Road, Eugene, Oregon 97401

Lane Community College Labyrinth

4000 E 30th Ave. Eugene, Oregon 97405

First Presbyterian Church Labyrinth

230 NE Ninth Street, Bend, Oregon 97701

Spirit of Grace Labyrinth

7400 SW Scholls Ferry Road, Beaverton, Oregon 97008

The Episcopal Church of The Transfiguration Labyrinth

68825 Brooks Camp Rd. Sisters, Oregon 97759

BONUS: Circles in the Sand on the beaches of Bandon, Oregon.  Beautiful—but expect lots of people!

I invite you to set aside time to walk one of these. I think you will enjoy it! Let me know if you do and what the experience was like for you.