I hate grocery shopping!
I hate the time it takes to replace all we have eaten in the past week—buying the same stuff over and over
I hate the person who stops her cart in front of me, staring at the shelves
I hate the one who stops right by the shelf where I know exactly that one item I want to grab
I hate the lines—I always choose the one I think looks the shortest and it turns out to take longer than the one next to me
I hate…
(Sound off center): Cough
Hold it, that’s our Father interrupting my tirade.
Father: (gently) Firstly, daughter mine, you get to choose what you give your family to eat. That’s a gift.
Secondly, those people who hold you up…each is someone I love, someone I made in My image. You could give each a gift...a smile, a kind word, an offer to help…
Gifts, gifts, gifts. Blessings, blessings, blessings.
Life is full of opportunities to give. I am (obviously) too full of myself to be aware, to be looking for those opportunities.
“When you give…” Jesus said.
We tend to think of money when we think of giving, and Jesus did have plenty to say about money. But there are so many other ways we can give, that we can bless. As my pastor said a few Sundays ago, “Are there 6 different ways to bless...a billion…6 billion…?”
Yet, let’s pause and think of money. Why do we find it difficult to give? Is it out of insecurity? Which raises the question of the source of security: is it in our money in the bank or in God? We have been taught the wisdom of saving, of money in the bank “for a rainy day”. For us, as retired people, our money is invested to provide for us in our old age. Does this become sacred for us? What happens when the Spirit prompts us to give?
And where did this money come from anyway? Do we not realize that everything we have is a gift? Laurence’s ability to earn this money came from God: his talents that enabled him to be creative, the doors of employment that opened for him, the frugal wife God gave him (!!!). It is all His—not just the 10% we sometimes get stuck on! At times I have said to God, when faced with an unwelcome bill, “Well, if that’s how You want to spend Your money...” That is remarkably freeing.
And this is our God who said, “Give, and it will be given unto you. A good measure, press down, shaken together and running over will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Luke 6: 38) We don’t give to get, but our generous Father will see to it that we lack nothing we need.
“When you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,” Jesus said, “so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”
That sounds challenging! My left hand not knowing what my right hand is doing? Giving in secret? Reward? I understand not announcing to the world that I am giving, but, Jesus, in His turn-everything-upside-down way, seems to be taking it several steps further.
Dom and I knew it would be a challenge to write about Jesus’ words from a point of view of living them! I am struggling to understand what Jesus is saying here, but I wonder if part of the point of our sharing here is not to give you our enlightened answers: “Look how brilliantly I put Jesus ‘ words into action”, but rather to provoke you, our readers, into your own struggle and into honest conversation with Jesus. “What did you mean?” and “What does this mean for me today?”
However, here are my musings:
Giving in secret: Does this mean anonymously? Or is the meaning tied to the motive behind the giving? This triggers my thinking about plaques. Have you ever been encouraged to give a certain amount of money to a cause (usually some building project,) and a brick/tile will then have your name on it for all to see? My husband and I have balked at doing that with some of the projects we support—something about it didn’t seem right to us—but obviously there is a real appeal here. It is fun to see your name engraved on the sidewalk! Or in the back of a program or a newsletter! Is this what Jesus was talking about?
And how about your left hand not knowing what your right hand is doing? Something deeper is being touched on here. Our two hands like to work together. Do we feel a level of insecurity when they don’t? Why is the right hand doing the giving? For most people, their right hand is their dominant one. Does that give it the right to choose to give?
Right hand: Here is someone in need. It makes sense to give to him. Left hand: Why would we give to this guy? He isn’t good at managing his money. Right hand: God’s Spirit is opening this opportunity…
Sounds like a husband/wife discussion! This is worth further considering...what did Jesus mean? And I think it is an invitation into mystery and to go deeper. There is a tension here, as we try to explore the depth of what Jesus was inviting us into. Tension is not bad, though; it stretches us, pulling in different directions, causing us to achieve both new depths and new heights in our walk with God.
And lastly, reward: “your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.”
Laurence and I recently gave a large sum of money to help purchase a van for a friend. There are so many miracles in this story. Our friend is a double amputee. Laurence remembered that our neighbor had a van outfitted to accommodate a wheelchair for her husband who died a few years ago. He went to ask her if she still had the van. Yes. Would she sell it to us for our friend? Yes, and when she heard his story, she lowered the price she wanted. We have a mutual friend who has money he loves to give. Together we were able to buy the van to give to our friend.
Can you imagine the joy of three couples gathered around this van that was ready to take our friend where he needed to go! Whenever we think of that van, our hearts well up with gratitude and joy. That is our reward: being a part of God’s miraculous provision for His hurting son.
There are so many other ways we can give. There is the gift you thoughtfully choose for a special friend and the joy as you watch her joy as she opens it! There is the gift of presence: “weeping with those that weep, rejoicing with those who rejoice”. There are texts, calls, cards; all bearing words of encouragement and love. There are smiles and hugs. There are meals, both invitations for others to join your table and taking to a friend in need. Give, give give.
Turning back to the Beatitudes, and thinking of the first one, “Blessed are the poor in spirit,” how does this relate to giving? Can I learn to give out of a recognition of my poverty? Here in the USA, most of us have abundance. I know we do. It is easy to give from that abundance. We write a check, we push a button on the computer, it hardly puts a wrinkle in our budget.
Jesus spoke of how hard it is for a rich man to enter the Kingdom. What is the invitation for me here? Is this actually where I am poor? Because I am too rich—because I don’t know the experience of giving out of my poverty?
Will I enter the Kingdom when I recognize my poverty in so many areas of my life, and I learn to give out of that poverty? What do I have little of, that I could give out of that little?
Wow! Did I imagine going here when I offered to write this blog on giving?
Deeper, deeper, deeper into a reality I have never before touched, the place where God's heart beats and mine responds, and I recognize my lack and I give anyway.
So, what am I sensing I lack today? Where am I aware of being poor? Where do I need to admit my deep dependence on God to meet my need and then from that give to others? Is it in my longing for deep friendship where I am known and still loved? Can I turn and offer my friendship to someone else and open myself to their deep longing, even if it is different to mine?
Is it in this area that I call “frugal” or careful, and is there an invitation here to be generous and to touch my insecurity of possible future lack?
Is it related to time? Or energy? My felt need for “down time” and alone time; my reluctance at times to say yes to an invitation or to make the call to a friend whom I know loves to talk!
Will you dare to walk with me in this place of discovering your poverty and, listening to Your creative Father and the Spirit, find ways to give out of that poverty?
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