Finding Beauty in the Ugly

On a recent road trip to visit our youngest daughter who is facing some major challenges, my husband Laurence asked me, “What are some of the highlights of this year?”

“Highlights! This gray, ugly, challenging year?” I flung back at him.

Wisely he said nothing.

After a pause, I decided to give him back his question. He shared a few of the highlights he saw. And gradually, as we drove on, I began to remember some of the amazing, wonderful things that happened this year. As I shared, I realized again that sometimes beauty was hidden in the middle of the ugly.

Finding Ways to be Thankful

Years ago, my Bible study girls and I were challenged by Ann Voskamp and her book, one thousand gifts, to daily write at least three things we were thankful for that day. Ann has such a beautiful way with words-- her thanks often included picturesque words: “thank You, Lord, for bedsheets in billowing wind, for fluff of sparrow landing on line, sun winter warm and one last leaf still hanging in the orchard.” Mine were more prosaic, but I found it easy and delightful as I thought through my day each evening to count all the things that had happened that day and  to give thanks. Sometimes that included things I wouldn’t have thought about giving thanks for, but I began to see God’s provision even in the challenging times. More recently, Ann published a new book called Gifts and Gratitudes with space to write three things every day of the year. After my response to Laurence's question on the car that day, I went back and read through my January thanks… wow! I had forgotten all the amazing things that month had held-- the people I had interacted with, the beauty hidden in winter days... it was such a treat to reread about my year. I plan to get a new copy for 2026; I encourage you to do the same.

Returning to my comment to Laurence that day about the ugly, gray, difficult year, I realized this came as a result of a number of very difficult circumstances that had colored my life gray-- so many people close to me who are going through difficult times; at times it felt overwhelming, and I struggled with discouragement and depression. Yet, gradually, I began to focus again on the beauty even amid the ugly. As we open our eyes and look for God, he is always there.

God's Light in the Darkness

In our church, every Sunday we read out loud part of Psalm 139, including the words                 “Even the darkness will not be dark to you;                                                    the night will shine like the day,                                                                     for darkness is as light to you.”

I awaken again to hope…not just that the future will be better when my loved ones recover from their illnesses or move on from their grief and other troubles, but that even during the darkness, God does bring his light.

Stop for a moment.

Breathe deeply.

Turn your gaze towards God.

Whatever you are facing today, allow the light of God’s loving gaze penetrate your darkness.

Welcome His presence.

Sink back into His embrace.

Listen to Him rejoicing over you with singing.

Allow his words to gently pervade your mind:

  I am with you.                                                                                                       I will never leave you or forsake you.                                                     My mercies are new every morning; great is my faithfulness.

Do not be afraid. It is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the Kingdom.

Read and reread the words He has given to you that mean the most to you.

Then, if you can, walk outside.

Even if it's raining...

Look for color.

Listen for sounds.

Smell deeply the aroma in the air around you.

And let gratitude arise.

You're alive.

You have breath.

You are a bundle of potentiality as the old song went.

Yes, we in Oregon have so much rain this time of the year. But think of the snow falling on the mountains, storing up water for the summer that lies ahead. Think of our fir trees that have suffered through the dry summer days, gratefully drinking their fullness. Watch the leaves fall as the

deciduous trees enter a time of rest and refreshment. Do those branches grieve as they must let go of the beauty they have enjoyed during the long summer months? Do they mind being, in my mind at least, ugly? I realize that I have always seem winter as this sad time that has to be borne—when grey branches of trees are outlined against a gray sky. But now I am seeing that they stand in their naked glory; there is something beautiful about the way the branches intertwine and of course the moss and lichen that remain green! There is so much to be thankful for if we have eyes to see it.

The beauty in the ugly: my sister in New Zealand lost her husband recently and has been going through some health issues--she and I share daily prayer time and are closer than we have ever been; one of our daughters is dealing with grief also, but is finding joy in letting go and reaching out to bless others; two of our grandsons are facing huge challenges by drawing close to God, praying and listening to worship music; I am listening more to the Spirit’s prompting  and sending encouraging messages as he shows me needs; I am praying more consistently for my people; I am  experiencing the hope and joy that arises as I spend time with my loving Father.

James encourages us with these words:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds

because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."

Perseverance? It truly is amazing how perseverance is not an ugly word but holds real blessing as we sit with God during trying times.

Celebrating Thanksgiving this year

We moved from New Zealand many years ago and met your lovely tradition of Thanksgiving—we don’t celebrate this in our country. It has always been my favorite holiday—no hype, just our favorite foods, family and friends, and sharing of all we are thankful for this year. We have an album where I place the words each family member writes each year. It is always fun to look back to see what has been shared!

So, as you sit with family and friends this Thanksgiving, how about throwing out Laurence’s question and seeing what beautiful stories will emerge as someone’s story reminds someone else of another time of blessing, and your table is filled with beauty and thankfulness.

Above all else, give thanks to God for Who He is and all Christ means to you. Listen to what Paul says about giving thanks:

" In everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

From this place of thanksgiving, we can make the deliberate choice of love over fear, a desire to be positive instead of negative, an openness to see the beauty in what appears ugly, which will allow us to live in this spacious place Paul describes as “the peace of Christ.”

Live thankful! Live loved!

Do you have traditions that you enjoy every Thanksgiving? I thought it would be fun to share some here in the comments section below. We are always open to new ideas of how to express our gratitude to our faithful Father God.