Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness

{Our post today was written by Laurence Dunn, proud granddad.}

Recently we attended our granddaughter’s wedding in Austin, Texas. It was a very moving ceremony, and, despite the heat and humidity, I enjoyed it immensely.

To watch our new grandson weep as he listened to his wife-to-be’s words over the intercom before she walked in; to listen to them share the vows they had written to each other; to watch their faces as they took their first communion together—it was so beautiful. And then the fun as they came running into the reception with laser swords and battled until he lay “dead” on the floor. This is a relationship that has been and will be filled with laughter. And yet, we know they will have their work cut out for them as they face the future together and will need to allow the fruits of the Holy Spirit to be fully exercised to overcome the difficulties that will confront them. We have experienced all that in our 55 years of marriage!

 Relationships seem to have been a feature of Jesus’s teachings, with a strong emphasis on preferring the other over oneself. That, we would probably all agree, is sometimes easier said than done. Our society is geared to look after #1--ourselves.

Take some time and look up all the scriptures that reference “one another”

And to add to that thought, Jesus made it clear that we should forgive those who have done us wrong.  This is a signature part of the Lord’s Prayer.

We all probably have friends or family who will tell you they could never forgive “so and so” because of some action done, or word spoken by “so and so”. Unfortunately, that unforgiveness can lead to many other conditions that can affect whole families as very often, others only indirectly involved, become participants in this scenario.  Does unforgiveness lead to happiness and peace? No.

With all the wedding celebrations over, we did many activities with our Texas family, including celebrating my great grandson’s first birthday and my wife’s 79^th. A memorable occasion to enjoy both together as a family.

At the celebratory breakfast, my Texas grandson was complaining about how his sister was not respecting his wishes, a constant refrain. He kept trying to interfere with some drink she had provided for breakfast by trying to pour it down the sink. Finally I reacted angrily to him suggesting he go home to his apartment as we hadn’t come all the way from Portland to listen to his whining. To which he replied that I should leave. I realized that he had been deliberately trying to create discord. However, I also realized that I was adding to that discord by getting angry. I apologized to him for my angry outburst. He accepted my apology, and harmony was restored at that moment.

Later events that day led to more family tensions coming forth, resulting in many words of anger being spoken, and the police got involved as mediators to calm down the respective parties. All our family are committed Christians, but emotions had supplanted the fruits of the Spirit being exercised.

While I could say that was just our Texas family, I found myself challenged by a few other things that occurred on our journey back to Portland. My phone disappeared as my luggage went through security; tensions were rising. Then I felt anger as I watched my granddaughter being subjected to unnecessary disrespect by some TSA personnel. I told myself they have a lot of people they are dealing with, some of whom probably create scenes, and they are doing their best. So I calmed my anger and supported my granddaughter as best I could. Fortunately my phone eventually was found. Thank you, Lord for your grace!

This is life! Unexpected things happen constantly. I must learn to preface my reactions with thoughts of the Holy Spirit.  In the heat of the moment, I don’t do this well. I used to react based on my emotions, but now I try to see why the other person is acting the way they are. So my response comes with thoughtfulness and empathy. As Paul encourages us:

^{Col 3: 12} Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

None of this is easy. But God has promised us the help of His Spirit, if we ask. Choice is involved here—the conscious effort to “put on” these beautiful clothes and enjoy goo relationships with others.

Our God is an awesome God.