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Writer's picturewendyfermata

Thanksgiving Made New

I wonder which is your favorite celebration during the year. I know, for my family, the answer would be Christmas—for a variety of reasons. But, for my husband me, the answer is Thanksgiving.



We grew up in a country where Thanksgiving is not a “holiday”. The first year we were here in Oregon, I remember wondering what we were to do with this very different celebration. So, we gathered together a group of “ex-pats” (people with ties to “Mother England”) who also had no history of celebrating Thanksgiving; I learned how to cook a huge turkey; others brought all the trimmings; and fortunately, I had good friends who moved into the kitchen after the meal to work on the clean-up! Five families gathered that year and for many years to come. Usually there were about 30 of us; we always found others who had nowhere to go to join us; eating over, we would gather around the piano and sing our national anthems (the poor Aussie in our midst didn’t know his, so Waltzing Matilda was always added to our repertoire). Our common British heritage meant we knew a lot of the same songs; those of us who remembered words sang them; the rest of us added what we could remember! One year Laurence visited the library to get words for the songs—that was quite enlightening!


As our kids got older, they would go downstairs for their own entertainment and sometimes express their embarrassment at the hilarity around the piano! Such great memories! The celebration was less about talking about the things we were thankful for and more about appreciating being together and the specialness of the friendships we had made in this new country.


As the years passed, kids grew, got married and had new families to celebrate with; other families moved away for several reasons; our big gathering disappeared—that was difficult. Our little family was too small for us after so many years of a house full of noise and laughter. But gradually our kids have married, we have added grandchildren, and there are always extra families to invite to our celebration. But the center of it now for us is thankfulness—sharing our stories of the good things the past year has held. This is family. We are grateful.


But I know that for many, the gathering at Thanksgiving can be difficult. The old joke about not saying anything about religion or politics can strike too close to home. How to navigate the challenges? Especially this year when our country has become so polarized politically.


“Blessed,” Jesus says, “are the peacemakers,

for they will be called the sons of God.”

 

What is God calling you to as you gather with family and friends this Thanksgiving? Can you look with God’s eyes at those who will sit at your table and celebrate the uniqueness of who each is? I read recently some thoughts C S Lewis expressed about getting along with others. He talked about not always feeling affection for himself or enjoying his own company; that his capacity to forgive himself for being or acting a certain way was tied to his sorrow about being that way because, underneath it all, he really loved himself. I wonder how we can let go of our judgments and even our fears of others. I wonder if we can learn to look with God’s eyes, with compassion; to see beyond the expressed opinions to the fears that lie within; to really care as God does for us. Forgiveness comes into play here. God forgives us. We forgive ourselves—sometimes with despair! I know I do. “Here I go again!” Can we open our hearts to that level of forgiveness, of acceptance, of celebration of who each person is?


Jesus talks of “peacemakers”, not “peacekeepers.” I think we often choose to keep things peaceful by not allowing certain topics to be raised or not addressing an issue that is raised on which we have a different opinion. I know I am the classic avoider of conflict at any level! How can we enter the heart of Jesus and learn how to “make” peace at our Thanksgiving table?


What is the invitation today as we look toward our Thanksgiving gathering, with the challenges of family relationships, and the issues that will arise?


How are we to respond to this call to be peacemakers, to bring peace to the fearful, hurting hearts of those who share our table; to accept different opinions and ideas, to be open to see another’s perspective, to truly be the son or daughter of the Lover Who met every situation with compassion, with understanding, with grief, with healing words; to be open to possibility, to be open to the unexpected, open to joy, open to His peace that passes understanding?

                                                                                                                                    

Sit with this question for a moment. Ask God for His wisdom. You know who will be at your gathering on Thursday. Picture each person. Ask God for eyes to see them as He does. Think about what you love about that person. Enjoy that moment. Then think about what you find difficult. Ask God for His grace and mercy to accept them for who they are, to forgive them their foibles.


Let them into your heart, one by one. Allow gratitude to well up; this is a time for thanksgiving!



I wonder if this is also a time to respond to an invitation from God to begin a new spiritual practice. Ann Voskamp introduced many of us to the idea of a practice of keeping a journal of daily gifts—things that we experience in every ordinary day that we can see anew as gifts from our loving Father. This is a practice that will transform you and your way of looking at your life: God will grace you with eyes to see the mundane differently; eyes to see the grace within even the hard things; eyes to see the beauty in the faces around you; eyes to see this world God has created with new appreciation.


If you need some help to get started, I recommend Ann’s new book, Gifts & Gratitudes. I am smiling now, because my spell check is telling me “gratitudes” is not a word! Gratitude is singular; God, through Ann, has made it plural! Enter into the joy of your Lord by beginning to end your day celebrating your gratitudes!

 

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